Forgiveness as a Gift

This time of year opens space for internal and collective reflection. For that, I always feel a deep sense of gratitude as we move through one year to the next. Of course, one of the primary themes of the High Holidays is asking forgiveness. Our ancestors were way ahead of their time in prioritizing this profound act of mindfulness coupled with openheartedness. To identify a wrongdoing, face it head on, and ask for forgiveness can be a radical act of transformation. How can we each be a better version of ourselves so that we might help our communities heal?

Before the High Holidays I found myself on a leadership retreat in the mountain west. After meeting a Blue Star alum during the orientation walking tour (the first person I met on the retreat, randomly and/or serendipitously), one of the co-facilitators introduced the concept of forgiveness. To that end, she played a song entitled, Forgive, by Trevor Hall and Luka Lesson. The lyric that I have played over and over again goes like this…

“Forgiveness is for giving, so give yourself this gift from time to time.”

https://open.spotify.com/album/7LInWgnlGzdaGS8neaQoR3?si=_O0A0wzTTWK9a24R1iaaLA

Asking for forgiveness AND granting forgiveness are part of the work of repair. In all relationships we flow through cycles of harmony, disharmony, and repair. When we talk about and put into practice at camp the core outcomes of being our best selves, building community, and doing good…we are modeling for and guiding our campers through these cycles (with their cabin mates, best friends, and counselors). In order to move out of disharmony and back to harmony, we have to engage the uncomfortable and even awkward practice of repair. To ask for forgiveness when we mess up AND accept someone else’s authentic apology when they mess up are the two most direct routes to repair. In fact, this past summer Fish led our entire staff through a continuing education session on how to make an authentic apology at one of our all staff meetings. Counselors were then even better able to model the process for our campers.

Here is an invitation to all of our camp families: What if you practiced genuinely saying, “sorry,” to one another and accepting one another’s apologies? As an example, this could be part of a family “circle up” at dinner. Remember that forgiveness is a gift!